Food, Fitbit and Thoughts from May

May has been a bit of a learning curve for me, I have been working on changing certain aspects of my life and basically trying to get my shit together. 

Over a month ago, I decided to hand in my notice and move jobs. In hindsight it was a stupid and impulsive decision on my part and one that I have learned valuable lessons from. But one thing I have noticed is that, moving from a fast paced and relied on position to something (unknowingly) more at assistant level, I have come to realise that I need a break. I’m feeling a bit run down, over exerted and just tired, not in the physical sense. So for now I'm taking it easy and focusing some time on my blog before I begin the job hunt to get back on my career path.
At the beginning of May I turned 27, growing older is something that upsets me more with each birthday. I am already researching firming products, anti-wrinkle lotions and potions and all round ways to prolong my youth. I think the main thing that stresses me out as I get older is that life did not go the way I planned, I did not intend to be 27 in a menial job, single and renting a council property. But as my favourite quote goes;

‘’We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us’’
Joseph Campbell.

A few days after my birthday, I had a profound conversation with a friend over whether it is socially acceptable to do things on your own. For example there are many films that come out in the cinema and I rarely have anyone to go with. So, I decided I am going to challenge myself to more for myself. I want to go to the cinema on my own, play a game of bingo on my own, even take a weekend break by myself. I have already entertained the idea of taking a holiday completely solo but that scares me slightly!

I have dipped into the world of fitness trackers, previously I used a Misfit until the battery died after 3 months and I couldn’t be bothered to change it. Then a craze swept through the office and everyone seemed to have a Fitbit and racing each other in a weekly challenge to beat each others steps. I am easily enabled and a few weeks later, I was gifted some vouchers which I didn’t know what to use them for until it hit me: Fitbit.
I have had this for 8 weeks now and so far I am loving it. I have come to realise that;
  1. Shopping really is my cardio.
  2. The amount of sleep I get dramatically affects my mood.
  3. It has made me start to move more but also be more mindful of my food (more on that later).
I didn’t realise just how lazy I had become, it was a sharp shock when my cardio fitness score came back as poor for a woman of my age. So it was almost immediately that it encouraged me to move more and I began to look for more opportunities to move/get more steps. For various reasons, I have not yet taken up running or joined a gym but these are activities on the horizon. I also started to see a pattern in my sleeping, the less sleep I got the more of a bitch I became, if I got too much sleep then the same would happen. It turns out I am a gold locks of sleep, I need 7.5 hours to be a normal functioning human being.

I don’t think I can remember a time that I was genuinely happy with my body. I have gone from being the fussiest eater at age 4 to eating everything I see at age 24. In the last 18 months I have tried Slimming World, Weight Watchers, Calorie Counting, Clean Eating, Vegetarian, anything that I thought may help me just control my food intake. I am now the heaviest I have EVER been and I feel disgusting. I even broke my bed frame – JUST BY ROLLING OVER.

The last few weeks I have started to really assess my food habits, I already knew I was an emotional eater which is heightened when I am sad or in need of comfort. While I have a plethora of books to hand including Amelia Freer’s Eat, Nourish Glow, Niomi Smart and Madelaine Shaw, I decided I need a little extra support. I have been pouring over Amelia Freer’s latest book ‘the 10 day plan’ and combining that with knowledge from the ‘Healthy Food Guide’ magazine. I am so desperately trying to control my food and be more mindful of what I am eating but damn is hard when all I want is domino’s pizza, a chocolate bar and an endless supply of crisps.  
If you would like to follow my health journey, I have a separate Instagram for it, follow me at @myfoodfusion.  

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